My boyfriend dumped me. Good news for my husband...
but I am totally obsessed with my ex. He is so hunky and smells so good. I was stalking him for awhile, but with the economy the way it is, I had to take a second job – so now I use Stalker-for-hire.
It is a great service. They let me choose my stalking preferences. Everyone is different, you know. I have my stalker get a pee sample, sniff his underwear, and bring back fresh hair locks for my alter.
Plus, once a month, my stalker masturbates in my ex's bed and posts the video on YouTube.
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I can't get past the fact that you had to take a second job because of the economy but then you hired a stalker. isn't that conflicting? like how could you afford a stalker if you had to get a second job? does that make sense?
ReplyDeletebeyond that...I think this is good so far. Maybe expand a bit about specific services you can get. Watching them through a window, keeping a log of everything they do. maybe what you've found out from your stalker-for-hire??
good stuff.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking that stalking was cheaper than my part time job. I didn't know what to do, but then I googled, "Cheap Stalkers for Hire"...
ReplyDeleteBut I could take this another direction...
I wanted to stalk him, but I'm too A.D.D. so I had to call stalker-for-hire.
Maybe you couldn't do it because you couldn't be stealthy? keep quiet? stop crying when you saw him? I dunno...
ReplyDeletewhat if I hired a migrant worker to do it?
ReplyDeleteeh i think that's a bit played out. how about u hired a stalker enthusiast from craigslist or something.
ReplyDeleteHey Thai,
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can take the angle of not having time to stalk because you have to take care of your family. I think that creates a more unusual juxtaposition of you being a devoted mother and a stalker...
Like you realized that, "stalking is a single women's game.
I think this is a good bit.